Archive for the ‘Finding Me’ Category

Questions in my head at the moment.

January 30, 2009

Am I happy?

Why can’t I just live my life without being so afraid?

Why am I afraid?

What am I afraid of?

Why can’t I relax?

Why can’t I just trust in the process?

What’s the big deal of having debt?

God, how can we be closer?

Am I going to lose this weight?

Who am I to be successful?

Why do I feel the need to have all the answers?

Why am I such a control freak?

Why do I feel I have to do the right thing?

What is the right thing?

What is the next thing?

What if this business fails?

Nothing is permanent, so who cares if I make mistakes?

Isn’t life supposed to be an adventure?

Why do I take everything so seriously?

Why are all of these questions running through my mind?


I’m having an AWAKE-ATHON!!

January 20, 2009

While Obama’s getting sworn in today, I’m having myself an AWAKE-ATHON.

I’ve been up since 12:22am (it’s now 7:01am) straightening up my room.

I woke up from a 1.5 hour nap and when I did, decided that it was time to CLEAN UP. I did laundry yesterday (6 loads) and just wanted to keep with the spirit of clearning the clutter as my pastor would say.

Truth is, since moving in with my aunt and uncle a few weeks ago, I hadn’t fully unpacked.  And I told myself yesterday that I needed to get it together. Whenever I’m disorganized, unstructured or not in routine, I get off track and feel off balanced. I’m not as efficient and productive as I know I can or should be.  And with starting and running your own business, if there’s anything I HAVE to be, that’s productive. Money doesn’t grown on trees, and I can’t plan to open a salon forever…I need to get that thing OPEN!

So, you may be thinking, what in the world does that have to do with me being on an AWAKE-ATHON?

The thing is, I have extremely poor sleep habits. Sometimes I’ll go to bed then wake up in the middle of the night, only to find myself sleeping all day. When I was working, I had NO CHOICE but to get up and get to work. But now that I’m not working, I have the luxury of sleeping during the day, part of the day, whenever I want because my schedule is being determined by me.

So, I’m working to stay awake all day so that I can establish a routine. Ideally, I’d love to be in bed by 11pm and wake up at 7am or 8am.

Being that I chose to do this on Inauguration Day, I think I’ll be fine!

With all the excitement of swearing in our new President, I’m bright eyed, smiling all over!

Hope you have a fabulous day -wherever you are!!!!

I’ve been A LOT distracted

January 5, 2009

Thank goodness for my church and for my pastor.  Cause I’m back on track.

So I went to church Saturday night, and Pastor Watson was speaking directly to me!  He talked about the benefits of walking in your God-given purpose. The benefits of living with purpose, he stated, will:

  • Reduce frustration
  • Increase motivation
  • Enhance concentration
  • Attract cooperation (from others)
  • Secure your evaluation (on the day when God asks you to give an account of your life on Earth)

The sermon, entitled, “Driven by Design,” definitely got me to thinking about how distracted I’ve been lately.  I haven’t updated my blog in over a week, and the only thing I’ve done for my business is a little competitive research, which is not enough if I plan on completing my business plan by mid February.

One of the things my pastor pointed out was that you have power when you focus. And that’s the reason why the enemy always uses distraction and diversion to break your focus and your concentration.  And he’s definitely right.

I know that when I’m focused and on course, nothing can stop me.  But once I take my eyes off my vision, that’s when I start to slow my momentum. And while this holiday time with my family was wonderful, and I could take my time enjoying them because I didn’t have to rush back to be at anyone’s job, I now need to refocus my energies on my purpose.

And one thing my pastor continues to say, and he actually said it again on Saturday, is that we must complete what we’ve started. I couldn’t agree more.

So that I don’t totally go to another extreme of trying to do it all from doing nothing, today I’m going to work on putting together a schedule for the development and completion of my business plan, and I’m going to work on putting in writing my salon’s mission statement.

In the words of Dr. Seuss, “Today if your day! Your mountain is waiting. So…get on your way!”

That’s right Dr. Seuss, I’m on it.

I can do this.

December 27, 2008

Before I left Richmond for home to be with family during the holidays, I met with an old mentor of mine who coached me when I worked in NY in a 2 year advertising management training program.   She’s originally from Richmond, so the opportunity perfectly presented itself for us to get together and catch up before my arrival to NY.

I had shared with her a little over a month ago my concept for a hair salon, and though she thought it had a few kinks, overall, she thought it was a pretty good idea.

We talked more about it this past Tuesday, and she gave me what I think is some pretty good advice. She suggested that I give myself 2 years to pursue this endeavor and to give it all I’ve got.  That way, I won’t lose too much time and if needed, I could always transision back into Corporate America.

She also thinks that because the market is pretty aggressive when it comes to hair salons that I need to be as well.  She told me that I needed to get working and to move QUICKLY in terms of putting together my business plan. 

And, she’s right.

My plan, when I get back to VA, is to get started on my business plan the first on January and have it completed no later than mid-February. I’ve had enough time to rest. Now I need to get working, which is also the scariest part.

I have a million thoughts running through my head all the time like “How can I accomplish this?”, “Who do I think I am to be able to do this?”, “Others have tried and have been unsuccessful, what makes you think you’re special?”

But I also stand firm to the competiting thoughts, “Why not me?” and “If not me, then who?”

What comes to mind as I’m writing this entry is one of my favorite poems that I had posted on my desk when I was working. 

It’s called “Our Deepest Fear” by Marianne Williamson:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

This little light on mine.  I’ve GOT to let it shine.

What is Your Passion?

December 10, 2008

Do you know what your passion is?

More than anything, this is what I’m on a mission to find out. I’d say I was pretty good at my corporate job, but it wasn’t necessarily something I loved to do.

I recall an old diary entry I wrote a little more than a year ago.  In it, I listed all the things I thought I’d enjoy doing for free.

  • Self-Help Columnist/Author
  • Teacher
  • Travel
  • Shoe Designer
  • Fashion Consultant
  • Leader of a support group that empowers women
  • Photographer
  • Interior Designer
  • Owner of a Hair Salon
  • Landlord of an Apt Building
  • Party/Event Planner
  • Jewelry Designer
  • Hotel Owner
  • Founder of an organization that helps family deal with sexual abuse
  • Life Coach

I still can’t believe I wrote down hair salon owner as one of the things I’d do.  I remember when I was a little girl how much I enjoyed doing hair.  My grandmother bought me two mannequin heads when I was younger, and I spent all of my time styling their hair.  Oh man, was I in heaven.  My grandparents told me that one day I’d own salons all over the country.

So, what happened?

Being a hairdresser was too easy. You don’t need a college degree to become a hair stylist.  I also remember all of the status that came along with having a lucrative corporate career. I was too busy feeding my ego and worrying about what others thought. 

But now, I could care less.

More than anything else – being a millionaire, creating a big business, the status – I want to be happy and fulfilled.  And I will try anything and everything to get there.

I’m no longer concerned with position. I’m focused on finding what I’m most passionate about.

What about you?  What would you do for free?